Last night I had a dream about the animations that I have been working on. I clearly saw my last animation and my dream told me to move on to the next part of the triptych. I was booked in to animate again today so I think that it might be the last animation that I do in the 'Ego' series before starting on the Shadow.
So far it has been a rather strange journey for me. To begin with, wading through the theory was torturous and for a while I thought that I wouldn't be able to make sense of any of it. Now I've become consumed by the project and the enormity of it excites me and I know that I am doing what I need to do. I love working on something that I feel so at one with. In my job I sometimes feel out of my depth, there are reams of paperwork that I don't understand, I have to negotiate the complex structure of the organisation and always keep myself in check. When I am animating, I am just that, animating. There is no other thought that enters my head.
As this triptych is modelled on my own psychology I have had to use my memories, thoughts and feelings to base the work on. I stated in my proposal that most of my work is dark in nature and that I wanted to investigate why. I have a feeling that what started off as en expression of what I was feeling at a few points in my life turned into a habit. Even when happy my work remains morbid as if it got stuck in time and although I felt that I had moved on my work never did. It seems that even the 'Ego' animations that were intended to be much lighter than my other work, were disturbing to others. I do feel the darkness lifting a little now, it's like I really have to force it out trying hard to express positivity instead of negativity.
I see this as a cathartic experience, proof that I can tell a story that isn't entirely grim and in doing so maybe I can convince myself that whatever struggles I had before are behind me. Whatever is to come will come, bad or good, but to expect the worst isn't always healthy. I have taken a different view of myself and in doing that I hope to express something different in my work.
Indulging in animated play makes me happy. The only plan I have is a feeling, and this is what I have to follow in order to create this triptych. This seems to be my most successful way of working. I have accepted that I am an instinctive animator and that I do not work well when too much planning is involved. To begin with I tried to add structure to this project especially during the self negotiated unit but it didn't work particularly well as it didn't allow me enough freedom. Now I am just following the work instead off trying to force it and it feels (and looks) much better.
Mostly I think that to me this triptych is about letting go of bad memories. I can't ever wipe these things from my mind, I can't un-see, un-feel or un-hear things but I can refuse to dwell on them. The thing is that I still feel very sad for my younger self. I look back and think that I should never have had to go through those things and I hate the thought that others will go through the same and worse. It always surprises me when people show a lack of empathy for others. If I see someone going through a hard time I put myself in their position by using the old feelings that I have stored away to feel what they feel. Maybe that is the positive thing that I can take from my experiences? To be able to take anything positive away from a negative experience has to be a good thing, I'm lucky that I have managed to do something productive with my own negativity but I think it's time to make people feel good when they watch my work instead of feeling scared or freaked out. Something more akin to a kiss than to being hit round the head with a brick?
Friday 28 May 2010
Tuesday 25 May 2010
What do others see?
I have taken some time to gather opinions on the two 'Ego' animations that I have done so far. I asked specifically what other people have read into the animation or what they think it means.
I harvested the opinions online, through Facebook, forums and via e-mail so most have come from people I know in one capacity or another. Views on meaning are varied but some were surprisingly accurate. I gathered views from people who have no creative background as well as those with more experience. Only one person so far has been unable to elicit any real meaning from the animations. Some people thought that the animations were some kind of commentary on environmental issues, most likely because of the tree image at the beginning.
The following are the comments I have received so far, red text is my response to the comment:
From Facebook:
The feedback has helped me to see what some others might read into things. People generally find it quite disturbing, especially the use of red in Ego 2. A lot of the viewers felt that the look was 'biological' (use of words such as; spawning, decay, moulding, microbes, swarms, hatching, blood, rebirth, re-spawn, disease, bacteria, parasites, reproduction, dissection and division) which in a way is what I was aiming for. I like to feel that my work is 'alive', like it is it's own entity.
Much of the feeling about my work looking 'biological' has to do with the technique that I have used. By using mediums that resist one another I have created an environment where parts of the image expand while other parts are eroded. This 'breathing' effect gives the feel that what you are looking at is very much alive and the use of fluid adds to this. I think that the job of an animator is to bring inanimate objects to life but working with these fluids means that to a certain extent they animate themselves, I just manipulate them to create imagery that people can relate to.
Rorschach test
In the feedback Patrik brought up the Rorschach test which is something that I had been thinking about for a while. The Rorschach test comprises of 'inkblot' images that the patient is asked to respond to and was a popular method of psychological testing in the 1940's and 1950's. The viewer is asked to give their immediate interpretations of the images that they are presented with and their responses were used to gain insight into their personality.
Below are some examples of the Rorschach test cards:
As the inkblot image is abstract the viewer creates their own meaning. There are common answers that people come up with which could mean that the images, although abstract, are suggestive of form. The images that I have created are moving images, which adds another dimension.
This music video is inspired by the inkblot technique, and has the tongue in cheek title of 'Crazy':
The interpretations that I received through feedback are quite interesting. In a way it has helped me to pinpoint the dominant emotions that stand out from the array of feelings that I wanted to depict. I tend to use my negative experiences to fuel my creative work. I often wonder if this is something that has a therapeutic effect or if it is somewhat negative to dwell on those experiences? A few of the people that gave feedback described a struggle of sorts:
"I felt sorry for the person struggling to survive on their own in an environment that keeps trying to crush them."
"The harshness and loss of growing up, moving on."
"Self searching."
"It also made me think of something trying to escape."
"Looks like a lot of little people spawning and suddenly being devoured by the blob over and over."
The period of life that I have in mind is from the age 0f about 8 until now I suppose. The last 7 years haven't been as much of a struggle as my teens and early 20's so I have been trying to express a growing positivity. This is proving to be much more difficult than I had imagined it would be. It has been suggested to me that as I am a person who is fuelled by anxiety and stress, feeding off it as such, that a 'happy ending' would spell an end to what compels me. The feedback has shown me that the focus is still on the negative. The viewer wants to see a happy ending, they want to feel that the protagonist has won the battle. I need to work on how to convince the viewer that all is well by the end.
It could be that the viewer needs to see that the protagonist is helped in some way or that they grow in strength. The negative forces are too dominant and this causes the viewer feels threatened and unnerved. I will attempt to add positivity by adding some vibrant colours. I have brought 3 more pigments; cadmium yellow, cobalt turquoise and phthalocyanine green.
I harvested the opinions online, through Facebook, forums and via e-mail so most have come from people I know in one capacity or another. Views on meaning are varied but some were surprisingly accurate. I gathered views from people who have no creative background as well as those with more experience. Only one person so far has been unable to elicit any real meaning from the animations. Some people thought that the animations were some kind of commentary on environmental issues, most likely because of the tree image at the beginning.
The following are the comments I have received so far, red text is my response to the comment:
From Facebook:
- Well they were different and very relaxing to watch, but I think they lack substance and/or subject. If you know what I mean. (So you would prefer something a little more figurative, maybe with character to relate to?) Maybe a character or an object. I think it needs to tell a story or several different stories, perhaps the viewer could see a number of different stories depending on there imagination.
- love them jules. i like ego 2 best. the reds set it off. i'd like to see more 'lumpiness' maybe throw in some texture like sand or butter or something. as for what it means, i dont think that deep, i see only 'cool' and 'awesome'.
- They do have a Rorschach test quality to them. Not 100% abstract but abstract enough to have people read into them what they were thinking about anyway.
- Ego1:
- When it ended with two people holding hands and they were no longer being crushed by the world around them. That made me feel all optimistic. Ego2: It made think about reproduction lessons in biology at school. That made me feel slightly squeamish because I'd rather think that people are made of chocolate sponge cake than all that icky blood and stuff.
- Ergo2: Relationships. Starting off as one and then splitting into two. Growth/Development.
- Wow, Julie, have had to watch at the second one a few times as I got lost in the aesthetics, beautiful. The two sides of self(but maybe I thought this because of the title too), growth, the harshness and loss of growing up, moving on, that all sounds a bit sad, just before the end it seemed to have a feeling of positivity and bringing those things together (about 1.16)
- Breathtaking , Look forward to seeing on the big screen!
- ego 2 made me think of dissection. looking inside and division. self searching. bloodshed. murder. love it.
- Ego 1 It made me think of birth - rebirth. I felt like the page was about to set on fire. It also made me think of something trying to escape. It made me feel a bit scatty and nervous. Ego 2 It made me think of the deterioration of the environment - the red made me think of murder - it made me feel slighty unconfortable.
- Ego 1 - It looked like a disease/mould growing in a petri dish. When the two humans emerged from it, it either meant we all come from bacteria or we're parasites on the earth. The colours were quite dark so it didn't make me feel very good. Ego 2 - I liked the opening which looked like a tree, then splitting open it looked like blood was coming out. I thought it symbolised how we are killing the planet. I liked the colours in this better, although the red was a little disconcerting.
- Looks like a lot of little people spawning and suddenly being devoured by the blob over and over. Kind of harsher looking then the earlier "organic matter on glass" ones since parts look like people or people parts, though perhaps it's from mindset rather then the art itself. The second one has an even stronger vibe of decay, like a helpless human getting run over by a tractor, bleeding out until dead and then slowly molding as microbes and algae take over around the swarms of insects hatching in the flesh. Big vibe of helplessness, filthiness and death. (Yeah, I was going for something a little more hopeful, maybe the red is too dramatic? My work always veers towards darker emotions for some reason. The helplessness part is good but I probably need to make it more positive towards the end.) Doesn't look positive at all to me really, possibly a hint when the humans actually move. The red just looks like arterial blood to me. End of ego2 does have actually still around humans I suppose. The red looks more negative then the green to me, but again it could be part mindset. There is probably a hint of rebirth in the sense that they do respawn continually as they're consumed, hard to say if focusing on the destruction rather then the creation prior to it is just dependent on what the viewer is thinking rather then the animation itself. I realize I reuse the phrase "to me" excessively and for no reason since it's rather obvious anything I say is only my opinion but I don't feel like copy editing it out :-). [EDIT] Watched an earthworm struggling off the porch very slowly and into the ground and looking at the texture, I think the reason the animation looks harsh is the gritty texture. Organic stuff looks hopeful but grit, like the small hard dots do not. Even the things destroying the humans do not really look that negative, the downer vibe is mostly in the hard-looking small particle sprays. Sort of like a ham sandwich with sand in it - a sliced up dead animal is somehow kind of ok, the sand is what you cringe about.
- Well, I can't comment on the actual site, but I watched them and thought they were awesome! I was entertained the whole time watching both.
- Spawning
- Devoured
- Harsher
- Decay
- Helplessness
- Bleeding
- Moulding
- Microbes
- Swarms
- Hatching
- Filthiness
- Death
- Arterial blood
- Negative
- Rebirth
- Respawn
- Consumed
- Destruction
- Creation
- Red
- Awesome
- Relaxing
- Disease/mould growing
- Emerged
- Bacteria
- Parasites
- Dark
- Splitting
- Blood
- Disconcerting
- Struggling
- Optimistic
- Reproduction
- Biology
- Squeamish
- Relationships
- Splitting
- Growth/Development
- Loss of growing up
- Moving on
- Dissection
- Division
- Self searching
- Bloodshed
- Murder
The feedback has helped me to see what some others might read into things. People generally find it quite disturbing, especially the use of red in Ego 2. A lot of the viewers felt that the look was 'biological' (use of words such as; spawning, decay, moulding, microbes, swarms, hatching, blood, rebirth, re-spawn, disease, bacteria, parasites, reproduction, dissection and division) which in a way is what I was aiming for. I like to feel that my work is 'alive', like it is it's own entity.
Much of the feeling about my work looking 'biological' has to do with the technique that I have used. By using mediums that resist one another I have created an environment where parts of the image expand while other parts are eroded. This 'breathing' effect gives the feel that what you are looking at is very much alive and the use of fluid adds to this. I think that the job of an animator is to bring inanimate objects to life but working with these fluids means that to a certain extent they animate themselves, I just manipulate them to create imagery that people can relate to.
Rorschach test
In the feedback Patrik brought up the Rorschach test which is something that I had been thinking about for a while. The Rorschach test comprises of 'inkblot' images that the patient is asked to respond to and was a popular method of psychological testing in the 1940's and 1950's. The viewer is asked to give their immediate interpretations of the images that they are presented with and their responses were used to gain insight into their personality.
Below are some examples of the Rorschach test cards:
As the inkblot image is abstract the viewer creates their own meaning. There are common answers that people come up with which could mean that the images, although abstract, are suggestive of form. The images that I have created are moving images, which adds another dimension.
This music video is inspired by the inkblot technique, and has the tongue in cheek title of 'Crazy':
The interpretations that I received through feedback are quite interesting. In a way it has helped me to pinpoint the dominant emotions that stand out from the array of feelings that I wanted to depict. I tend to use my negative experiences to fuel my creative work. I often wonder if this is something that has a therapeutic effect or if it is somewhat negative to dwell on those experiences? A few of the people that gave feedback described a struggle of sorts:
"I felt sorry for the person struggling to survive on their own in an environment that keeps trying to crush them."
"The harshness and loss of growing up, moving on."
"Self searching."
"It also made me think of something trying to escape."
"Looks like a lot of little people spawning and suddenly being devoured by the blob over and over."
The period of life that I have in mind is from the age 0f about 8 until now I suppose. The last 7 years haven't been as much of a struggle as my teens and early 20's so I have been trying to express a growing positivity. This is proving to be much more difficult than I had imagined it would be. It has been suggested to me that as I am a person who is fuelled by anxiety and stress, feeding off it as such, that a 'happy ending' would spell an end to what compels me. The feedback has shown me that the focus is still on the negative. The viewer wants to see a happy ending, they want to feel that the protagonist has won the battle. I need to work on how to convince the viewer that all is well by the end.
It could be that the viewer needs to see that the protagonist is helped in some way or that they grow in strength. The negative forces are too dominant and this causes the viewer feels threatened and unnerved. I will attempt to add positivity by adding some vibrant colours. I have brought 3 more pigments; cadmium yellow, cobalt turquoise and phthalocyanine green.
Wednesday 19 May 2010
Ego animation
This animation will form the centre of a triptych. This means that there will be an animation which will be shown either side of this one. As the animations are intended to be shown in portrait format and not landscape you will either have to tilt your head or your screen (or just use your imagination!) so that some of the figures etc make sense.
Each week I will add my work and would like people to comment on how the animations make you feel and what you think they mean. Criticism is more valuable than praise so don't hold back. Please send feedback to:
Julie.Garrod@student.nuca.ac.uk
Thanks!
Ego 1
Ego 2
Ego 3
Ego 4
Each week I will add my work and would like people to comment on how the animations make you feel and what you think they mean. Criticism is more valuable than praise so don't hold back. Please send feedback to:
Julie.Garrod@student.nuca.ac.uk
Thanks!
Ego 1
Ego 2
Ego 3
Ego 4
Tuesday 18 May 2010
Update 4
Today's effort was infinitely more successful than the last from a technical perspective. I moved into room 98 which has a much better light-box so I eliminated the problem of the flickering light. I also remembered to put the focus lock on!
One of the things that I am beginning to realise is that each animation will be quite individual and although I am essentially trying to replicate the good parts of each animation, to do this exactly using my chosen method would be impossible.
I am slowly eliminating certain materials and concepts. During the last animation (Ego 1) I found that the ending, when I used rice, seemed to be the least effective part. This could be due to either the concept or the materials. I had overworked the medium and the oil had been emulsified by the detergent. I decided to add the rice as I felt that this might remedy the situation. I realised afterwards that I should probably have used the space more effectively, moving from one part of the 'canvas' to another which would ensure against overworking.
The narrative element was also an issue as I felt that by introducing another figure with as much emphasis as my own it was no loner about one persons psyche but about a relationship, and that isn't what this piece of work is about. I wanted to include Duncan as I think that he has been incredibly important in my personal development but maybe I can reflect his influence without showing him so figuratively?
I brought some artists pigment to use instead of using make-up as cosmetics seem to be a lot more expensive than art materials. I just brought 3 colours, orange/brown, red and green. The red is especially nice and looks quite blood-like. The colours are more vivid than most of the make-up pigments and they are also not as reflective which works out better as I am lighting the animation from below.
Ego 2 (today's animation) uses he space more effectively than Ego 1 and has different qualities. The figure appears more fluid and drips and squeezes itself from one place to another. The use of space is symbolic of my own decent and subsequent ascent. The figure starts off in the centre and like before is born from the separation of the 'tree' into the two parent halves. This part wasn't as well timed as it was in Ego 1 as the action is a little on the fast side and the figure doesn't seem as clear.
Below is a comparison of the two animations at various stages. My comparison ends at the point when the rice is introduced in Ego 1, as I feel that I should have stopped there.
I need to gain some feedback on the animations so far so I have recruited a few people to give their opinion. I would like a good cross-section of people, so first I am looking more for people who are not involved in creative arts so that I can see if this kind of animation will appeal to an audience with no prior knowledge. It's much easier for me to find creative people who are willing to comment. Those who label themselves as having little or no creative ability often feel too intimidated to comment on this type of work as they feel unqualified to do so. I would like my work to be appreciated on an instinctive level, meaning that most people should feel compelled to watch. Much like how people like to watch flames or clouds.
In order to obtain feedback I have made a blog post which has Ego 1 and Ego 2 embedded alongside a brief explanation and an e-mail address to send feedback to. I have posted a message on my Facebook page and on a message board where I am a moderator. So far I have about 3 volunteers, 2 of which would say that they are 'clueless' about this kind of thing. I may widen my search by trying to recruit through CCN on the non-creative courses.
Until I get some feedback I am not sure what has worked and what hasn't. I feel that Ego 2 uses the space more effectively and some of the narrative elements like the dropping of the stone work very well (see images below) but the figure is much clearer in Ego 1.
At the end of the Ego 2 animation I used some of the green make-up pigment to fill a circle with and this is symbolic of my personal achievement. I used the make-up because the green is really vivid and has a calming effect. It's not unlike the green that appears at the end of Ego 1 as they occupy the same position (see below) but it's more effective when that particular colour has yet to be used in the animation as it symbolises change.
What I need to do now is to try and fine tune my technique so I have better control over the outcome.
Ego 2
One of the things that I am beginning to realise is that each animation will be quite individual and although I am essentially trying to replicate the good parts of each animation, to do this exactly using my chosen method would be impossible.
I am slowly eliminating certain materials and concepts. During the last animation (Ego 1) I found that the ending, when I used rice, seemed to be the least effective part. This could be due to either the concept or the materials. I had overworked the medium and the oil had been emulsified by the detergent. I decided to add the rice as I felt that this might remedy the situation. I realised afterwards that I should probably have used the space more effectively, moving from one part of the 'canvas' to another which would ensure against overworking.
The narrative element was also an issue as I felt that by introducing another figure with as much emphasis as my own it was no loner about one persons psyche but about a relationship, and that isn't what this piece of work is about. I wanted to include Duncan as I think that he has been incredibly important in my personal development but maybe I can reflect his influence without showing him so figuratively?
I brought some artists pigment to use instead of using make-up as cosmetics seem to be a lot more expensive than art materials. I just brought 3 colours, orange/brown, red and green. The red is especially nice and looks quite blood-like. The colours are more vivid than most of the make-up pigments and they are also not as reflective which works out better as I am lighting the animation from below.
Ego 2 (today's animation) uses he space more effectively than Ego 1 and has different qualities. The figure appears more fluid and drips and squeezes itself from one place to another. The use of space is symbolic of my own decent and subsequent ascent. The figure starts off in the centre and like before is born from the separation of the 'tree' into the two parent halves. This part wasn't as well timed as it was in Ego 1 as the action is a little on the fast side and the figure doesn't seem as clear.
Below is a comparison of the two animations at various stages. My comparison ends at the point when the rice is introduced in Ego 1, as I feel that I should have stopped there.
I need to gain some feedback on the animations so far so I have recruited a few people to give their opinion. I would like a good cross-section of people, so first I am looking more for people who are not involved in creative arts so that I can see if this kind of animation will appeal to an audience with no prior knowledge. It's much easier for me to find creative people who are willing to comment. Those who label themselves as having little or no creative ability often feel too intimidated to comment on this type of work as they feel unqualified to do so. I would like my work to be appreciated on an instinctive level, meaning that most people should feel compelled to watch. Much like how people like to watch flames or clouds.
In order to obtain feedback I have made a blog post which has Ego 1 and Ego 2 embedded alongside a brief explanation and an e-mail address to send feedback to. I have posted a message on my Facebook page and on a message board where I am a moderator. So far I have about 3 volunteers, 2 of which would say that they are 'clueless' about this kind of thing. I may widen my search by trying to recruit through CCN on the non-creative courses.
Until I get some feedback I am not sure what has worked and what hasn't. I feel that Ego 2 uses the space more effectively and some of the narrative elements like the dropping of the stone work very well (see images below) but the figure is much clearer in Ego 1.
At the end of the Ego 2 animation I used some of the green make-up pigment to fill a circle with and this is symbolic of my personal achievement. I used the make-up because the green is really vivid and has a calming effect. It's not unlike the green that appears at the end of Ego 1 as they occupy the same position (see below) but it's more effective when that particular colour has yet to be used in the animation as it symbolises change.
What I need to do now is to try and fine tune my technique so I have better control over the outcome.
Ego 2
Wednesday 12 May 2010
Update 3
I had a few hours in the animation suite today and managed to do about 2000 frames before I just about froze to death! It was very cold in there and unlike when working with stop motion I had no big studio lights to warm me up. It sounds very trivial, being cold, but actually it did stop me working for as long as I was planning to. My fingers and toes were numb, and numb fingers do not help with this kind of animation. If this problem persists I may have to take in a hot-water bottle or at least wear another layer of clothing as it really got in the way of my work today.
I found that there were rather a lot of frames I had to take out due to getting my hand/paintbrush/straw etc in the shot. This is an issue when you use the time-lapse facility instead of pressing the button yourself. Hopefully removing the frames wont disrupt the animation too much.
I enjoyed the 'doodling', this time trying to include memories/incidents from my 'Black book'. It was my aim today to work on the content for the middle (ego) panel which is concerned with memory and perception. I tried to give my animation some narrative structure in that I attempted to follow the time-line of my own life. I like to just scatter the solids (in this case glass beads) onto the surface of the glass and try to work from that. Today I wanted the first image that I formed to be that of a tree. The first nightmare I ever remember having was of an apple tree growing on my bed with the roots winding around my feet, ankles and legs until I couldn't move. I would wake up and for a second I could still see the tree on my bed. I had this dream quite a few times and I remember it vividly, so it seemed apt to start with my apple tree.
Tree
Tree breaking apart
I split the tree in two thinking that it could symbolise the break up of my parents. They faced away from each other and moved apart, I then created a figure in between the 'parents' who looks from one to the other before one parent leaves her and the other one frightens her.
I felt fairly emotional when this part of the animation came up, it reminded me of how lonely I felt when my Mum threw me out and made me realise that it wasn't until I met Duncan that I actually felt secure. I've had to cast my mind back during this project to really think about my emotions during this difficult time. To be honest living at home with my Mum was actually as bad as being homeless, if not worse so there were quite a few years when I felt lonely and desperate that I can draw on for the purpose of this project.
I don't want the animation to be too gloomy, after all it is about a journey and personal growth as much as it is about the events that occurred. There were always glimmers of hope even in my worst moments. A night out with friends, sexual encounters, a good drawing, people being nice to me, all of these things helped get me through so they should also be included. The ego panel isn't the place for any real negativity, I will save my vitriol for the shadow.
I didn't notice until I got home that the focus lock wasn't on so the camera kept changing the focus, also the lights in the light-box were fluctuating quite a lot. Usually if the shutter is open for about 1 second this eliminates the flicker but in order to get the contrast right I had to drop the shutter speed as I was using glass beads on a white background.
This is the stage in which to make my mistakes as I am really looking at how to develop the imagery, in essence how to get from one scene to another. It's a little like rehearsing for a play, as long as I practice and develop the animation. The early outcomes are deemed a success or failure depending on how much I have learned from the experience not whether the animations themselves are 'perfect'. I will likely end up with a number of animations which will each have their own positive qualities as well as points which haven't worked.
I feel good about what I achieved in the 1st real session and I am booked into the room on Friday too so I get a day to consider the outcomes before I rework the animation. I will make sure the focus lock is on and also have a look at which noise (there are three noises) means that the image is being captured as I think I am not getting out of the way fast enough when the camera is on the time-lapse function. I discovered that using the washing-up liquid with the oil and pigment can have some interesting effects. If I use quite a lot of pigment with a little oil to make a thick mixture I can use it on top of the washing-up liquid to make a definite line.
The way that the detergent and oil behave together is nice to work with. The substances resist one another instead of mixing which allows me to isolate the pigment and 'draw' in the liquid. This is definitely something that needs to be explored further.
Ego 1
You can clearly see that I had problems with the focus as well as the light-box. I am having to animate for panels that will be portrait as opposed to landscape so I have to animate this way up, you will just have to turn your screen on it's side to view!
I am getting to know my medium well now so I feel that there has been a little more skill involved in the manipulation process. I have to be careful not to get the paintbrush or fingers in shot. I feel that the end part, when the rice is introduced is the weakest part. I would like to bring Duncan's presence into the animation but I don't like the style or how literal the figures are. I think it loses some of it's appeal when the rice appears so I won't use that again. The glass beads were effective though so I will get more of those for Friday. I brought some paint pigment to work with today so will try that out tomorrow too.
I found that there were rather a lot of frames I had to take out due to getting my hand/paintbrush/straw etc in the shot. This is an issue when you use the time-lapse facility instead of pressing the button yourself. Hopefully removing the frames wont disrupt the animation too much.
I enjoyed the 'doodling', this time trying to include memories/incidents from my 'Black book'. It was my aim today to work on the content for the middle (ego) panel which is concerned with memory and perception. I tried to give my animation some narrative structure in that I attempted to follow the time-line of my own life. I like to just scatter the solids (in this case glass beads) onto the surface of the glass and try to work from that. Today I wanted the first image that I formed to be that of a tree. The first nightmare I ever remember having was of an apple tree growing on my bed with the roots winding around my feet, ankles and legs until I couldn't move. I would wake up and for a second I could still see the tree on my bed. I had this dream quite a few times and I remember it vividly, so it seemed apt to start with my apple tree.
Tree
Tree breaking apart
I split the tree in two thinking that it could symbolise the break up of my parents. They faced away from each other and moved apart, I then created a figure in between the 'parents' who looks from one to the other before one parent leaves her and the other one frightens her.
I felt fairly emotional when this part of the animation came up, it reminded me of how lonely I felt when my Mum threw me out and made me realise that it wasn't until I met Duncan that I actually felt secure. I've had to cast my mind back during this project to really think about my emotions during this difficult time. To be honest living at home with my Mum was actually as bad as being homeless, if not worse so there were quite a few years when I felt lonely and desperate that I can draw on for the purpose of this project.
I don't want the animation to be too gloomy, after all it is about a journey and personal growth as much as it is about the events that occurred. There were always glimmers of hope even in my worst moments. A night out with friends, sexual encounters, a good drawing, people being nice to me, all of these things helped get me through so they should also be included. The ego panel isn't the place for any real negativity, I will save my vitriol for the shadow.
I didn't notice until I got home that the focus lock wasn't on so the camera kept changing the focus, also the lights in the light-box were fluctuating quite a lot. Usually if the shutter is open for about 1 second this eliminates the flicker but in order to get the contrast right I had to drop the shutter speed as I was using glass beads on a white background.
This is the stage in which to make my mistakes as I am really looking at how to develop the imagery, in essence how to get from one scene to another. It's a little like rehearsing for a play, as long as I practice and develop the animation. The early outcomes are deemed a success or failure depending on how much I have learned from the experience not whether the animations themselves are 'perfect'. I will likely end up with a number of animations which will each have their own positive qualities as well as points which haven't worked.
I feel good about what I achieved in the 1st real session and I am booked into the room on Friday too so I get a day to consider the outcomes before I rework the animation. I will make sure the focus lock is on and also have a look at which noise (there are three noises) means that the image is being captured as I think I am not getting out of the way fast enough when the camera is on the time-lapse function. I discovered that using the washing-up liquid with the oil and pigment can have some interesting effects. If I use quite a lot of pigment with a little oil to make a thick mixture I can use it on top of the washing-up liquid to make a definite line.
The way that the detergent and oil behave together is nice to work with. The substances resist one another instead of mixing which allows me to isolate the pigment and 'draw' in the liquid. This is definitely something that needs to be explored further.
Ego 1
You can clearly see that I had problems with the focus as well as the light-box. I am having to animate for panels that will be portrait as opposed to landscape so I have to animate this way up, you will just have to turn your screen on it's side to view!
I am getting to know my medium well now so I feel that there has been a little more skill involved in the manipulation process. I have to be careful not to get the paintbrush or fingers in shot. I feel that the end part, when the rice is introduced is the weakest part. I would like to bring Duncan's presence into the animation but I don't like the style or how literal the figures are. I think it loses some of it's appeal when the rice appears so I won't use that again. The glass beads were effective though so I will get more of those for Friday. I brought some paint pigment to work with today so will try that out tomorrow too.
Thursday 6 May 2010
Art and Psychoanalysis by Laurie Schneider Adams
Schneider Adams, L. (1994) Art and Psychoanalysis. New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
I picked several books out of the library before Easter but this is the one that seems to have aided my research more than the others especially in relation to use of unconscious techniques like dream journalling.
The book is steeped in Freudian analysis and doesn't mention much of Jung. This was a bit of a disappointment but as Jung studied under Freud I cannot discount his work no matter how I feel about it personally. One of the issues that I have with Freud is that much of his theory has a male bias and neglects the female perspective. As the subject of my own analysis I have to look at theory that (if gender related) pertains to my own gender. This book covers a lot of ground looking at the Oedipus Complex but this theory was initially based on the relationship that a male child has with his parents, Jung's Electra complex comes a bit closer to the female perspective. I find that a lot of Freudian theory glosses over the female perspective as if being male himself stopped him being able to empathise with the opposite sex.
Once I had got over my fear of Freud and all his talk of penis-envy I started to enjoy sections of this book and found it to be quite helpful. I took Suzie's advice and didn't try to read the whole book. I have issues with reading so sometimes that can make it hard to carry out my research. I read the introduction and got a better idea of which sections would be the most beneficial to my research.
The following is the list of contents with the relevant sections highlighted:
I found that another trick that enabled me to extract as much information as possible from the book was to find the right place to read it. I have found that waiting rooms are an excellent place to read as nobody will disturb you and they are usually comfortable with a good source of light. It's very important to me that there are no disturbances when I am trying to read so waiting rooms are perfect. It has been suggested to me that I should just read in the library but my aversion to library's and an desire to be unconventional means that the library is not ideal. I attended a lecture last week and despite the dim lighting I found that I could also concentrate better on reading in there. Of course I wasn't listening to the lecture but I found it easier to block out one person talking than to block out loads of people talking and moving, as the audience were quiet and sat still it eliminated a lot of noise and movement from my surroundings.
The Psychological Impact of Imagery
Boundary Loss: Ego and Image
As animation is an area that is commonly associated with 'cartoons' and character it can be hard to break away from that. As I have chosen something more abstract and that has taken me down some fairly heavy theoretical avenues I have encountered some opposition to my current line of enquiry. Some of my peers have expressed concern that I might 'go too deep' and lose what it is that people can identify with. This is something that I am concerned about as I don't really want to alienate a large section of my viewers but I cannot help but be drawn in this direction.
I have had a few years of teaching others and helping them find inspiration for their own work and this has changed the way in which I work. I included very little theory in my BA work and had problems applying the theory in my dissertation, opting to ramble about my own point of view instead of considering the opinion of experts. Teaching has given me a different perspective and fostered an appreciation of the thoughts of others.
Although the author was specifically discussing static work similar rules can be applied to moving image, although if sound is present this changes somewhat. Animations like Normal McLaren's Begone Dull Care (1949) use abstract imagery alongside music to create something that the viewer is compelled to watch:
Watching something like this is not that dissimilar to watching the work of a good choreographer. People do seem compelled to watch image and sound that have been synchronised even if the images are non-figurative. An example of this in popular culture is the itunes visualiser:
The visualiser is not that far removed from the lighting used in nightclubs to enhance the emotional impact of the music. This gives the viewer/listener a all encompassing experience, using lights and music to forge an atmosphere that encourages movement. Many different genres of music utilize visual devices for live performances and this is a developing industry which has it's beginnings in the 'Disco' era with lights, mirror-balls and smoke machines. More recent developments include music video, laser light shows the advent of the VJ.
Many VJ's now use a more figurative approach by using film footage and animated characters, not unlike an impromptu music video. This could be influenced by the same psychology that affects enjoyment of abstract imagery. In a way this isn't as important when the visuals are intended for use in a live music venue as the people viewers are more like participants as they are often there to dance and socialise as well as to observe the visuals and listen to the music.
When sound and image are used together the effect on the viewer can have more impact than a static image alone. This is something that wasn't covered Art and Psychoanalysis as it focussed on classic examples. I seem to be caught between abstract painting, music and moving image and it's very hard to find theory that fits in with my current work. I have found that it's helpful to strip it down to the essentials of psychology.
I picked several books out of the library before Easter but this is the one that seems to have aided my research more than the others especially in relation to use of unconscious techniques like dream journalling.
The book is steeped in Freudian analysis and doesn't mention much of Jung. This was a bit of a disappointment but as Jung studied under Freud I cannot discount his work no matter how I feel about it personally. One of the issues that I have with Freud is that much of his theory has a male bias and neglects the female perspective. As the subject of my own analysis I have to look at theory that (if gender related) pertains to my own gender. This book covers a lot of ground looking at the Oedipus Complex but this theory was initially based on the relationship that a male child has with his parents, Jung's Electra complex comes a bit closer to the female perspective. I find that a lot of Freudian theory glosses over the female perspective as if being male himself stopped him being able to empathise with the opposite sex.
Once I had got over my fear of Freud and all his talk of penis-envy I started to enjoy sections of this book and found it to be quite helpful. I took Suzie's advice and didn't try to read the whole book. I have issues with reading so sometimes that can make it hard to carry out my research. I read the introduction and got a better idea of which sections would be the most beneficial to my research.
The following is the list of contents with the relevant sections highlighted:
- 1 Beginnings
- 2 Freud's Leonardo: The Controversy
- 3 The Psychological Impact of Imagery
- 4 Art and the Oedipus Complex
- 5 Dreams, Delusions and Art
- 6 Michelangelo's Moses and Other Michelangelo Problems
- 7 The Transitional Object and Its Implications for Creativity and Symbolism
- 8 Some Psychological Aspects of the Mother-Child Relationship in Western Art
- 9 Psychoanalytic Readings of Primal-Scene Iconography
- 10 Biography, Autobiography, and Psychology
- 11 Psychobiography: Caravaggio, Artemisia, Brancusi
- 12 Aesthetics on Trial: Whistler vs. Ruskin
I found that another trick that enabled me to extract as much information as possible from the book was to find the right place to read it. I have found that waiting rooms are an excellent place to read as nobody will disturb you and they are usually comfortable with a good source of light. It's very important to me that there are no disturbances when I am trying to read so waiting rooms are perfect. It has been suggested to me that I should just read in the library but my aversion to library's and an desire to be unconventional means that the library is not ideal. I attended a lecture last week and despite the dim lighting I found that I could also concentrate better on reading in there. Of course I wasn't listening to the lecture but I found it easier to block out one person talking than to block out loads of people talking and moving, as the audience were quiet and sat still it eliminated a lot of noise and movement from my surroundings.
The Psychological Impact of Imagery
Boundary Loss: Ego and Image
"When such twentieth-century styles as Abstract expressionism and Minimalism appeared, viewers' responses by and large suggested that their ego boundaries were even more threatened than they were by illusionism. Rather than evoking a sense of the uncanny, however, nonobjective art aroused anger. The artist's skill was denied rather than admired. Such responses had previously appeared in the nineteenth-century view of Impressionism as technically inferior to the clear edges and precise textures of Neoclassical painting"
As animation is an area that is commonly associated with 'cartoons' and character it can be hard to break away from that. As I have chosen something more abstract and that has taken me down some fairly heavy theoretical avenues I have encountered some opposition to my current line of enquiry. Some of my peers have expressed concern that I might 'go too deep' and lose what it is that people can identify with. This is something that I am concerned about as I don't really want to alienate a large section of my viewers but I cannot help but be drawn in this direction.
I have had a few years of teaching others and helping them find inspiration for their own work and this has changed the way in which I work. I included very little theory in my BA work and had problems applying the theory in my dissertation, opting to ramble about my own point of view instead of considering the opinion of experts. Teaching has given me a different perspective and fostered an appreciation of the thoughts of others.
"Psychologically, it would seem, those who respond negatively to nonobjective imagery do so because there is no recognisable figure or object with which to identify. "
Although the author was specifically discussing static work similar rules can be applied to moving image, although if sound is present this changes somewhat. Animations like Normal McLaren's Begone Dull Care (1949) use abstract imagery alongside music to create something that the viewer is compelled to watch:
Watching something like this is not that dissimilar to watching the work of a good choreographer. People do seem compelled to watch image and sound that have been synchronised even if the images are non-figurative. An example of this in popular culture is the itunes visualiser:
The visualiser is not that far removed from the lighting used in nightclubs to enhance the emotional impact of the music. This gives the viewer/listener a all encompassing experience, using lights and music to forge an atmosphere that encourages movement. Many different genres of music utilize visual devices for live performances and this is a developing industry which has it's beginnings in the 'Disco' era with lights, mirror-balls and smoke machines. More recent developments include music video, laser light shows the advent of the VJ.
Many VJ's now use a more figurative approach by using film footage and animated characters, not unlike an impromptu music video. This could be influenced by the same psychology that affects enjoyment of abstract imagery. In a way this isn't as important when the visuals are intended for use in a live music venue as the people viewers are more like participants as they are often there to dance and socialise as well as to observe the visuals and listen to the music.
When sound and image are used together the effect on the viewer can have more impact than a static image alone. This is something that wasn't covered Art and Psychoanalysis as it focussed on classic examples. I seem to be caught between abstract painting, music and moving image and it's very hard to find theory that fits in with my current work. I have found that it's helpful to strip it down to the essentials of psychology.
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